yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
