She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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