and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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