i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
