dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
