I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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