Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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