we were pretty classy up until the second keg
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
