TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
