how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
