my being single is dangerous.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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