therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
