You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
