I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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