the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
