I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize