Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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