hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize