therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
