Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize