It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
