what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize