A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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