I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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