All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
