btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
