Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
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I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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