Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
