You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
