My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
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