He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
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I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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