i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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