the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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