OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
