biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
