I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
