She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
