with your own penis?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
The air was thick with penises
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
