oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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