Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
