Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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