i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
