I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm like, not good at living.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
