With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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