You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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