you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
