I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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