I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
