If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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