I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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