fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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