Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
