im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
