What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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