He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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