I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
