Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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