Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
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