why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
