all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize