is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
