Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
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