It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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